Thursday, May 27, 2010

Early Fawk You Friday! JOIN ME LADIES AND GENTS!!!

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Free yourself...FAWK You Friday is here. (It's okay to say it-it's not a bad word!) To whom/what would you like to say Fawk You to today?

My Fawk You Friday is early today as I will be attending a 3 day convention Friday-Sunday.

                   As always Fawk You Friday is hosted by the Lovely Lady J!
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                Become a Boobie Chaser today. Uh that does means now!

1. At this point... Fawk you to Pancakes! Just read my last 3 blog posts to know why.
2. Fawk you to the neighbor's with whiny dogs. IF the one Chihuahua is not barking at 6 am. The dog two floors above me is pushing everything off his porch and into my yard. Including their glass ashtray, full of butts, that shattered all over my porch at 7 am. My dog doesn't bark or whine ever...So shut yours up when I'm sleeping!
3. Fawk you Ovaries and my PCOS!!! I know you're punishing me for some sin from a past life. If you would tell me what it is I would bow down and worship the ovary gods begging for their forgiveness. The pain has broken me.
4. And Fawk you prescription drugs. You make me feel foggy, you don't help me sleep at night just make me drowsy all day, and you're making me less sensitive in certain lady parts which makes it hard for my ~ahem~ blossom to bloom! ~wink wink~

Those are mine! Please do a Fawk you Friday Blog Post and let me know about it! I can't wait to read yours!

The end of the Pancake Saga!

So I finally broke down and did the unthinkable before I lost my mind over a pancake. I called my mother.
Holy hairy testicles batman! I didn't want to kill myself afterwards.
After being lectured however on making sure Caden has healthy snacks to eat AT ALL TIMES, and then telling me that children should be breastfed until they are 5...yeah I know....She FINALLY told me that one of my little brother's was the same way.
(Have I mentioned I am the oldest of 4?)
She said when he didn't want to eat she gave him chores.
(Not as punishment Nik...No worries!)
So I asked Caden nicely if he wanted to eat his pancake. He said no of course.
So I said ok well then I need you to sweep the floor.
And he did it.
The kitchen and the bathroom got swept and mopped by his little hands.
Then he re-organized his dresser, and cleaned his room.
He still was not hungry by nap time at 2 so I sent him to bed. Without blanky or Jeff.
(Relax...I gave him a spare blanky.)
After he woke up we had a LONG talk. After about an hour I got him to come up with the idea of eating the pancake loaded with peanut butter and jelly!!

Caden still refused to eat his pancake so he got to do chores!

He swept and mopped the kitchen floor.

I emptied out his drawers and he sorted his clothes.


Then nap time. Sans Blanky and Polar Bear Jeff.

Try a peanut butter/jelly/pancake sandwich.

He's still not too sure about it.


Bath time.

The monster is revealed!
My day was filled with a million emotions and I am exhausted my lovelies!
Thank you for your listening ears and your patient words of advice.
I can't wait till the next time my mommy patience is tested.
Actually..... I can and would like to wait.
A long while if that is at all possible!!!

Pancake Morning (Cont'd from yesterday)

So those of you who have not yet read my post fro yesterday should do so now. Read me here!
This is Caden this morning. Still crying over the dam pancake. But wait...let me back up.
I went to be at 11:30 last night. Didn't fall asleep of course till close to 4 am. Was awoken this morning at nine but Caden sobbing in his room. I call his name. He stops crying. I call him again. Nothing. He waits till the 8th or 9th time for me to scream his name in anger before he comes in "What?"
Caden why are you crying.
Oh my tummy just hurts.
Did you eat your pancake.
No I'm not hungry.
OMG! Yes you are that's why your tummy hurts. Now get in the kitchen and eat.
 (He walks into his room>)
CADEN!!! It's in the kitchen.
I'm just gonna go to bed first.
Where he sits on the kitchen floor and throws a fit.
Now remember ladies...I have just newly awoken. From only a few hours sleep. Not only have I not had my coffee yet, I haven't even peed yet!
We ended up spending a good 20 minutes with him crying, me yelling and Seth on the phone trying to calm the both of us down.
I would like to point out that Even up till now...10:24 am, roughly an hour and a half later, I still have not spanked him. I was at that point, that deep dark black point, where I knew if I spanked him once...I wouldn't stop hitting him. So I walked out the door. I took the dog with me and walked out. No bra, still in my jammas, walked out.
When I came back...much more screaming.
He went to pee, then told me he was going to bed, that him needing to pee was why his tummy hurt. say that as you clutch your tummy.
We are now at the point where I have started to take his stuffed animals and bag them up in front of him threatening to throw them out, if he won't eat the pancake.
Still just nibbles a corner.
He says he is cold.
Ok now looking at the picture you can see that he is on the floor eating off a tray table. We just moved and our kitchen is too small for our old table so we had to sell it and have not yet had the money to buy a new one. BUT.....I do have a tall kitchen chair so I put it next to the counter and let him eat up there. I told him if he eats three bites, and I ripped the bites off for him, I would let him have his blanky. If he doesn't eat those three bites then blanky goes in the bag.
It's now 10:40 am. I am tired, crying, mad as hell. And I see no end in sight.
I don't know what to do, but I know I'm losing it.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Mommy Advice Needed, Por Favor.

Before you continue reading please take note. We DO spank our son. The Scriptures talk about sparing the rod and spoiling the child. We do not beat our son, encourage him to hit others, or spank him anywhere other than his tush or with anything other than our hand. If you feel this is wrong than feel free to CLICK OFF!

So this is my little monster.
His name is Caden and he will be 5 in October.
Recently Caden has started refusing to eat the food made for him. Which as I am sure you can imagine, is a very frustrating thing.
It started a long time ago but has gotten worse. Sunday morning Seth was making eggs for breakfast. Caden said he wanted  some, helped make them, then didn't want any. REFUSED to eat them. He was yelled at, spanked, time out, grounded...but still wouldn't touch them. He went the rest of the day without eating.
Last night I made potato soup for dinner. Something I make often. He sat in the kitchen with me while I cooked and told me about how it was his favorite. I served it, he ate his sourdough bread, wouldn't touch his soup. Him and Seth argued, he was spanked, FINALLY he ate it and then went straight to bed.
Today he was grounded from any TV for makin us fight with him all night. So I assumed things would be better. But no. I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast, he said he wanted one so I made him one. Then he said he hated pancakes and wouldn't eat it. I told him he wouldn't get anything else till he ate his pancake. That was at 10 am. He hasn't touched his pancake.
I started making dinner and Caden came in asking me for something to eat. I gave him his pancake. He started screaming/crying. I spanked him and sent him to his room till Seth got home. Seth came home and tried laying in bed and talking to Caden. Caden still refused to eat it.
After I made dinner tonight, chicken salads YUM, Seth took the pancake into Caden's room, set it on his table and told him as soon as it was eaten he could come out. He has been sitting on his bed since pancake untouched.
We left his bedroom door open and ate our dinner in the living room talking loud enough for Caden to hear. How we missed him, how proud of him we would be if he would do as he was told. We talked about playing Rock Band with him. How he could help me make a cake and we could eat it tonight. All he does is sit in his room and cry every once in awhile till he gets our attention, then pouts.
I am at my wits end. I admire his stubbornness. Except for now of course. I have tried every disciplinary action I know! I understand it won't kill him to go a day without food but I don't like it.
Have your kids ever been like this? What have you done/do/or recommend trying? 

Middle of the Week Laugh

Laughter is great medicine. For those days when my body is trying to kill me, my child has turned into a monster, and my husband chooses to be at work instead of at home being my bitch (lol) I like to have something on hand to make me laugh!
Which is why I own almost every season of Scrubs. And I have my DVR full of it too.
Last night this episode had me rolling! (Even though I have seen it a million times.)
It has the BOOOBIEEE call, the unanimous Guy Lie, the stealing/racist nanny. and this part:
(Scroll in to 5 minutes 30 seconds and watch until 6 minutes 48 seconds. Unless you want to watch all 7 minutes!)

This is from Season 6 Episode 14 called "My No Good Reason."
What always makes you laugh? Maybe I'll find some room on my DVR!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

New Followers, Updates, AND LOTS OF SEX!!!

Well ...Sex sells right? Figured it was worth a go!
So I posted the Follow Back Tuesday Post before I went to bed last night and this morning I have 8 new followers! OMG!
SO I think I will tell you a wee bit about me. It'll save you a lot of reading!
My name is MissCrystal. Everyone calls me Miss. I am almost 25. I live in NorCal, but was raised in the southern states. June 21st I will have been married for 7 years. We have a 4 year old monster who calls himself "Super Fast Caden."
I'm a coffee Junkie. Sometimes I use foul language.
I love to write music or poetry. (You can find it under the heading "prose".)
I have a hormone disease called PCOS. (That has it's own heading too if you want to learn more.)
Currently I have the hiccups. Not fun...probly from too much coffee.
Any Questions? Just ask!

OK now onto you for a brief moment..... I want to read your blog. Well maybe. I want to read funny stuff. If you post creative writing I want to read that too. If you have PCOS too... I WILL FOLLOW YOU. If you are from NorCal, let me know. Basically comment and let me know what your blog is about. I only want to read what I'm interested in. And I won't waste my time or yours.

For Those of you who already know me and love me.... UPDATES!
My body has been going crazy. My hormones have been in a tailspin the last month and it's only getting worse. Multiple cysts daily. Heartburn, since my ovaries are so constantly swollen that it's pushing anything I eat back up. Hiccups for hours on end. Chocolate cravings so bad I could claw up my drapes and hang from the ceiling! Seriously yesterday freaked me out really bad. I remember seeing a Breyers Ice Cream ad on tv, all of a sudden I am standing outside on my porch, in my PJ's Sans Bra, and I had no idea how I got there or why. It's almost like a black out. And it's scaring the hell out of me. I started crying yesterday around 4:30 and didn't stop till almost 7 pm. I don't know why really. It was partially due to stress...Some things have happened that I'm not sure how to talk about yet. Partially due to being sick of being in this apt. And mostly just my hormones surging!
It's the hardest thing to be uncontrollably sobbing for hours and feeling so overwhelmed with sadness and yet all I can do is remind myself that it's not real. It's just a hormone surge.
My face is breaking out like a teenager who drinks nothing but soda all day. Oh and I can't sleep at night, Even with ALL of the medications that I take at night that make me drowsy...but by 7 am I am out cold and I will sleep till noon.
It is making me feel like the worst mother. Caden sits and plays with this toys until my body lets me wake up. He has even crawled into bed with me and I have no recollection of it. It never even woke me up.
And here's the kicker... I don't know what to do about it.

But I did find this picture that I found UBER sexy...and Since I did say sex I will share:

Just Lovely isn't it? Beautiful color. Great use of shadow. Smooth lines. Simple yet passionate. I could stare at it for hours.

Follow Back Tuesday! Please Join... It's free and easy ya know!

It's That Time Again, For
 Follow Me Back Tuesday!
It is hosted by Survey Junkie, Little Yaya's, Review Retreat  & ; Boobies,BabiesAndABlog..  

It's a great way to start off your week &; get more BF's !!
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 How it Works
  • Follow ALL  4 Hostesses #'s 1 -4 ( leave them a comment so they can follow u back ) 
  • Add your blog to the list ( only have to add once )
  • Grab our button &; the link code to post on your blog
  •  Start to follow as many blogs as you would like ( make sure you leave a comment so they can follow you back )
  • And when you receive a comment from a new follower  return the favor &; follow them back

( Every Tuesday at 12:00 am EST. you can get the new link code from any of the 4 host blogs )

Monday, May 24, 2010

First order of Monday Business is Bat Crap Crazy.

One of our dear sister bloggers is Daffy at Bat Crap Crazy

Bloggy Blog Designz

She lost her big sister to two tumors VERY unexpectedly last week. Please everyone stop and post your support. This is obviously a very hard time for her and her family.
In lieu of flowers, a scholarship is being set up for her 5 year old son if anyone is able to make a small donation to help out.

Sometimes no words are needed!

Party People.
Jenna, Kevin MYSELF, Seth, Captain, and his sister Kaitlynn.

Seth, Myself and Capatin lookin Fly.
Dance Floor Empty

Dance Floor Bumpin!

                                                          Yes I did look good!

Can't forget to show of my shoes!

Ok So the party was fun! Minute amount of drama which was handled by us leaving ASAP! But we danced our bootays off and generally enjoyed our time!
I had invited someone..Someone kinda special! lol and He came.
(Keep your panites on Nik...I had permission to invite him.)
lol This is my FIRST boyfriend. First Kiss first Love....Blah blah blah.
ANYWHO... (I am just picturing Nik and Lady ~J with HUGE grins on your faces right now!!!)
We ran into each other a few months ago and this was the first time we got to hang out in over ten years!!!
It was so cool catching up with him. My friends liked him, Seth liked him, Hopefully he didn't find us all too nuts and We'll hang out more!
Stay tuned for part two of my weekend, I'm gonna need some girl support.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Come on Baby..Link up with me and Fawk You Friday!

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1. Fawk you disc in my back that keeps slippin out. I'm gonna show you by puttin on sexy high heels and dancin all night!
2. Fawk you Paul for thinkin you could ruin my good time. I am going to that party, which you are not allowed to attend, and I am gonna dance my ass off. Ya know? That one's really more of a Fuck You. HAHA! Neener neener and a fuck you too asshole!
3. Fawk you sun for not coming out today. That would have made 3 days in a row of tanning in your warm rays.
4. Fawk you apt complex for making me walk half way across you to do my laundry!
5. Fawk you Friday....For not coming fast enough or lasting long enough!!!

This Fawk You Friday is hosted in part by the lovely J @
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If you are not a boobie chaser to this gorgeous, funny lady then you and I might have issues!
No seriously..She is great. I have half a mind to track her down and make her and her momma 'n them my BFF's in real life. Uh huh...I said it!

But I will share the talented ramblings of my real best friend in real life.

The quirky and absolutely adorable Nikki!!!
(Seriously...I need a drumroll for these!!)
Follow my lovely Besty please! You won't regret it!!!

Ok Now link up...Or FAWK YOU ALL!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

To go or not to go. Such is the question.

So there is a party this weekend. A party I have been waiting months for. And now it looks like I won't be going.
150 people or more that I know. DANCING! A confetti cannon. A DJ. A professional photgrapher. Strobe lights... Yeah this party is gonna have it all. And it's being hosted in a very good friend of mine's barn behind her house. The reason why I probly won't be going..... The hostess' siblings are the ones hanging out with Paul.
Yeah The Paul.
And Seth and I have been cutting them out. No hanging out with them at all. So does that include the party? Seth thinks the party in general will just be a bunch of drama. All I can see is feelin sexy and dancing my booty off! (Hey...I'm a SAHM. This party will be the most fun I have had in months. Especially cause kids are not invited!!) I WANT TO GO!!!!!! I just bought the cutest pair of white capris and found This Shirt and These Shoes. Talk about lookin schmecksay! And I love to dance too.... ~Big Sigh~
But I know that Seth doesn't want the drama and he won't want to spend the money on new clothes.
And the thought of sitting at home Friday night while pretty much everyone I know is at the dance.... I pretty much want to cry. lol Stupid I know...but like I said....I get out of the house and see other people only on weekends, So this is really dissapointing to me.
That and Seth has not made up his mind yet. I wish he would decide one way or the other!!! The anticipation alone is killing me.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Ok I am in a seriously crazy mood. I'm jittery. And I don't want to sit still!!! I have ideas runnin through my head like lightning bolts. I don't want to sit still!!!
1:59 pm. K Just did 10 minutes of jumping jacks. Sorry Nik...forgot to tell you where I went.
You don't understand!!!! I eat protien and coffee every morning, do I have energy? NEVER!!! I take the Metformin and all of a sudden I can go and go and go. I have as much energy as all of you, I just feel like I'm on crack since usually I have no energy. IT'S SO SO SO SO SO GREAT!
Get a giggle out of my pic above? That was Monday night, a few vicodin in. Poor Seth, I was so loopy and kept bugging him.
My child is seriously picking the wrong day to screw with me too. His favorite phrase is "Didn't you know that?" As in "Hey mom I already let the dog out, didn't you know that?" No, you little booger eater I didn't, which is why I asked you to let them dam dog out in the first place!!! Or he is "Debating" with me on which shows to watch.
"Mom do you know what show comes on after Fresh Beat Band?"
No but I bet you're gonna tell me.
"Sponge Bob Squarepants."
"I decided he's ok for me to watch now."
HA! Fat Chance buck-o!
"He's funny mom. So I think it's ok."
Well I don't think it's ok so no you're not.
"I decided."
You're 4. You don't get to decide.
"FINE! Then I'll never get to watch Sponge Bob ever again in my life!!"
Good you little drama queen!
(No offense if you let your kid watch Sponge Bob...Just not appropriate for my kid.)

I do feel bad. Kinda. It's raining off and on here so he can't play outside. He played my DSi this morning w/o asking so ONCE AGAIN he is banned from touching it. And his shows are over for the day.
Actually...I don't feel bad at all. There is a room full of toys...go have fun!

Oh I want some advice from all of you lovely bloggers!
I want to know where you get your layout/button/personalized blog header from?
I want to get something similiar for myself!
Also... What are the funniest blogs that you read? I want something to entertain me.
Do you do adsense? Or make money in some way off your blogs? How?
And Do you use Twitter? Does it help with your blog?

Ok. But I won't do that!

The first 6 months I was pregnant I lost 17 pounds due to morning sickness. Once my doctor put me on medication to control it I gained 27 pounds. The few weeks after I delivered Caden I lost 20. I was mostly back into my old clothes! But then my body went haywire. Losing that last 7 pounds became harder and harder as my whole body started to gain weight. I was on a really strict diet to help with Caden's colic but I kept gaining. My milk dried up, and I kept gaining. I walked every day...kept gaining. Caden was almost 2 when a doctor finally diagnosed me. On of the worst things about PCOS aside from the fact that my body stores everything I eat instead of using it is the cravings!!! I have wanted cookie dough so bad that I could actually taste it! And then cried because I didn't have any. I have cught myself walking out the door to by chocolate, keys in hand, only to realize that I was in my PJ's and remember my car doesn't work, and I had no clue how I got outside. It's scary.
The last two years my weight has gone up and down, toying with my first set of 20 pounds that won't stay away. We eat healthy. Rarely eat out. Eat fruits and vegtables everyday. NO SODA. I only drink water and lots of it. We eat salads regularly. We are even active people.
I have been active and thin my whole life. Cheerleading, swim team, track, riding horses, raquetteball, hiking.... Anything and everything to stay active I did it.
Now it's so hard. Even if I do have a good pain free day there isn't much I can do. I don't live in a safe enough area to walk or run in. No parks nearby. Can't afford the gym or at home gym equipment. It's tough!
SO... My husband got P90X. Watching this video last night made my tummy hurt. But we're gonna do it! I do love to work out and I can do it all day! I want to get a Wii too so that I can do Wii fit with Nikki.
1. I'll eat healthy. 2. I'll work out.
But there are some things I won't do!
1. I won't count points. Sorry Nik, just not me.
2. I will cut down on portions but I won't starve myself. I'm a southern girl, if we're hungry we eat.
3. I won't cut out foods I want. If eating baby carrots doesn't kill my sugar craving....I'll have some sugar.
4. I won't keep a food diary. That feels too much like letting food control my life. I did that as a teenager and ended up with bulemia. It's just not for me.
5. I won't buy diet food.
6. I won't use diet cookbooks. I get low fat recipes from Nikki, but only the ones that I liked. I don't use cook books I general because I hate to measure. I follow low fat cooking guidelines, but I use my own recipes.

Simple rules that I follow:
-No Soda.
-Water is always Ice Cold. (Your body burns calories warming the water up when you drink it.)
-Stop to stretch 3 times a day for 10 minutes.
-Get at least ten minutes of sun a day around noon. (Helps you sleep)
-Get enough sleep.
-As little as possible prepackaged meals. I do have mac and cheese for Caden, pizza rolls for snacks when the boys are here, and frozen burritos. Otherwise NONE!
-I keep healthy snack foods around that I can eat all day long. Pretzels, yogurt raisins, craisins, activia, and yoplait whips. (Those whips are so yummy and you can sit and savor them slowly!!! OMG DELISH!)
-I keep chocolate in the house where I can see it. Ok here is my weird thing.... if It's not in the house I freak out. And then I need to have it. If it's in the house then when I want sugar I go and I look at it and I tell myself  "Ok it's here. But I don't need it yet. I'm still ok." Usually then the craving passes. Yes I'm weird. I know.
-We don't really eat red meat. We bbq pork. Use ground turkey instead of ground beef. And eat plenty of chicken.
- 2 or 3 times a week we eat salad for dinner. We have HUGE bowls for salads. We load them with our favorite veggies, cottage cheese, and then chicken. And we don't skimp on chicken. Then I make my own ranch dressing. Tastes better than the bottled stuff and I can make it fat free. SCRUMPTIOUS!

That's all I can think of right now. But I am curious....
1. What is your favorite diet food?
2. What's your favorite form of exercise?
3. What are your little diet tips?
4. What healthy things do you do as a family?
5. Any suggestions for me and my weight loss?