The Big D.






I'm sure you can see exactly where this post is headed.
My husband and I, of 8 years, have decided to get a divorce.

As anyone who has ever been divorced knows, this is not a decision that we reached lightly. And yes, there was infidelity on his part. It's been about a month and a half at this point, since I learned about his mistake and started trying to decide if I could forgive him and move on, and also give him the time to figure out if he wanted to still be married. In many ways, my answer hinged on his, in the end we realized that trust was gone, and we needed to move on in life without each other. But I gave us a month-ish for emotions to calm down before I made a decision. In that time I didn't kick Seth out, or break his golf clubs, or call him out on Facebook or even empty his bank account. (No, really; I'm serious!!) And after I talked to him about the decision I had made, we waited a week before we told Caden. (Who is handling things pretty well, so far.) For as much as most of you would love to have me air the dirty laundry on this matter and make myself feel better (Momentarily) as well, I am not going to.

We have our son to consider. And because of that we have tried to remain as cordial as possible.  I am keeping the apt and the furniture, and he can have his electronics. Caden lives with me, and Seth sees him every day.
Seth has already moved out too, so now it's time for healing and legalities.

I wish this wasn't happening. I do not want to be 26 and picking up the pieces of my life. Some days I am barely holding myself together. Thankfully I have some really amazing friends who let me lean on them, and who call and yell at me, or drag me out of bed, when I am hiding out. Some days I can't stand being in the house, and some times all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry the day away. I am heart broken to be losing my best friend. But I know that I made the right decision, for the right reasons. I also know, and he has told me, that I was a great wife. I don't know if that makes this easier, or worse....

When the day comes that Caden comes to me with questions, I know that I can look him in the face and tell him that I did my best. And really, what else matters.

As of right now, this is all I want to say on this subject. The emotions are so hard to handle and I know I am going to say something I will regret at some time. Thank you all, in advance, for your kind comments.
<3






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