Water Proof Mascara

Woke up again last night,

4:45 Am

You're still gone.

But you felt so real.

So warm and safe at my side.

Your old pillow still tricking me into believing you'll be there when I wake up.

My brain still teasing me that you won't really stay gone.

What a way to start my Monday.

My heart longing and my arms empty.

You promised, to always be there to chase away the nightmares.

I dread falling asleep.

I never know if you'll be in my dreams or not.

And I don't know what's worse.

I need to find a me without you.

I know.

I want to wake up one day with no sweat and tears.

I want to spend a day not wondering if my water proof mascara works.

But you still linger within me.

Tearing me up in my most vulnerable moments.

And I can't get you to believe in my sincerity.

What a way to start a Monday.

I wonder if my water proof mascara works...