Water Proof Mascara

Woke up again last night,
4:45 Am
You're still gone.
But you felt so real.
So warm and safe at my side.
Your old pillow still tricking me into believing you'll be there when I wake up.
My brain still teasing me that you won't really stay gone.
What a way to start my Monday.
My heart longing and my arms empty.
You promised, to always be there to chase away the nightmares.
I dread falling asleep.
I never know if you'll be in my dreams or not.
And I don't know what's worse.

I need to find a me without you.
I know.
I want to wake up one day with no sweat and tears.
I want to spend a day not wondering if my water proof mascara works.

But you still linger within me.
Tearing me up in my most vulnerable moments.
And I can't get you to believe in my sincerity.

What a way to start a Monday.
I wonder if my water proof mascara works...

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