Woke up again last night,
You're still gone.
But you felt so real.
So warm and safe at my side.
Your old pillow still tricking me into believing you'll be there when I wake up.
My brain still teasing me that you won't really stay gone.
What a way to start my Monday.
My heart longing and my arms empty.
You promised, to always be there to chase away the nightmares.
I dread falling asleep.
I never know if you'll be in my dreams or not.
And I don't know what's worse.
I need to find a me without you.
I want to wake up one day with no sweat and tears.
I want to spend a day not wondering if my water proof mascara works.
But you still linger within me.
Tearing me up in my most vulnerable moments.
And I can't get you to believe in my sincerity.
What a way to start a Monday.
I wonder if my water proof mascara works...