How I got my crown.


After much thought and  drinking  planning, I decided it was time to ask the Queen if I can be made a Princess. But she super wigged out on me so I did the next best thing and sucked up to Auntie Dutch!! I was still made to put it in writing as part of a formality however. (The Queen must have thought that no one would stay sober long enough to write a petition, but she hired me for my brains not my beer chugging abilities.) And before you could shake your ass twice I was declared a Royal and family!!

Now since I was not born into the Royal family PWT made me sign a petition stating that I would steer clear of her Beer Tab crown....

 I am pretty sure the hooker made me sign away my left boob with it.
But I decided then and there that I needed my own crown. I asked the Queen about it and she told me she wasn't gonna piss money away on something I could get at the dollar store, when it would probly just get swallowed by a gator in the first place. I tried to explain that we could insure it in case something happened, but  she got a phone call from PWT that sent her running and screaming out the door. Something about handicapped fish sticks and red rum... Sounded down right delish to me! So maybe that's why she flew out the door like her ass was on fire. Or maybe it's some sex position I am not familiar with... Either way I still wanted my dam crown.

The next day I was surprised with a party in my honor at the castle!
Auntie Dutch had even had the hookers make me a dress!!

What did you expect.... we spend all of our money on gin!! But I did hear that the Bartender broke into the Queen's personal stash of TP for the special occasion.

(She always has the good stuff!!)

The Lovely Dame rented me my own personal limo to parade around the Queendom in:

Even though the focus was on me, and me wanting a crown, we still managed to have fun and play games:
(It's similar to a game we played in High school called "Sex Ed")

The Bartender entertained us with some of the tricks of her trade:

I have to admit... Even without a crown I was feeling very Royal when the Queen broke out the Royal glassware to toast in my honor:

I even got a few gifts:

But I still wanted a crown. So the Queen sent all the drunkards out to find me one... And this is what I got from Dazee

She is pretty crafty with that knife. I can't lie.

And one of the John's brought me a throne:

But I am pretty certain the Queen is gonna steal that from me.

Finally our Royal Sister Wife told me that I needed to find my own dam crown and that it needed to be unique to me. 
Well I am the Princess VET......

So my crown is a peacock!

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