Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Royal Vet... Needs security???

Now you all know me,
I am not a ROYAL. I am a Royal employee. 
However that doesn't mean that I don't deal with a bit of hassling due to my close proximity to the royals.
Yesterday I had to deal with some harassment from a fellow classmate.
Apparently he is too smart for our class.
He doesn't take notes, doesn't bother showing up for tests, or turning in homework, and he leaves class 3 or 4 times a day to do God knows what.
But apparently he has an issue with anyone who does not fit what he feels, is an acceptable weight limit. 
Now I am not a thin person anymore. I can freely admit it. However I am not an xlarge person either.
Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, understand that I have a Endochrine Disease that makes it hard for me to lose weight. Obviously this guy doesn't get that we are not all shoving McDees and sitting on our couch all day long. But I digress...
Yesterday I overheard him, more than once, making fat jokes. Some directed at me, some directed at my classmates. (He mooed once.)  He would also make comments when a fellow classmate would raise their hand and ask a question. 
One time he whispered to his fellow seat mate:
Why don't you just F***ing pay attention instead of wasting my time asking her questions?
I couldn't hold it in anymore so I said:
Maybe if you would stop talking the rest of us could hear Dr. G. and not have to ask questions.
He replied with:
When I can see around you, I'll care about your oppinion. 

Now I know some of you (Like Nikki and Ange) are thinking.... You didn't kill him? You don't need a place to hide the body right now?
It took a lot to not  go off and throw him through a wall... Let me tell ya!
But I paid 30 grand for this class... I can't get kicked out!
Plus if I can't graduate then I can't work for the Royals as the Vet. 
I'd have to be the royal laundry woman... And I don't want to scrub the dame's crotchless panties. 
So I took the issue to my teacher to handle.
And she did.
And she did it in such a way to not put any more focus on me.
However I am wary that this attack was not done to get a reaction out of me as a Royal Employee, or out of the Royal Family.... Let's face it,... All of the Royals do love me!

Not only that, I have had my Facebook and my email hacked. 
Now why would we email any Royal secrets???
Seriously.... If you can't remember what happens when you're drunk then you don't get to know.

All of these things combined make me wonder if I should have my own security guard.
I honestly feel this is all due to my Royal Status.
So this is my petition to the Queen... To consider granting me a Bodyguard.
BTW if I get one.. You will be required to carry my backpack. 
I already carry around about 40 pounds worth of boob... I don't need another 40 pounds of books on top of that!


Nikki said...

LOL I love you!!

Give me his address and or phone number and I'll take care of the bastard for you...If you see a pancake on the side of the road, well ahem, that may be him after I sit my FAT ass on him until he squishes like a bug.


Ariana said...

Hell woman, let me at him. I have friends.

Donda said...

You can carry your books on your boobs? Your talents are endless! I would have probably gotten kicked out of the class. Did the instructor not hear this commotion?

Ange said...

OH. HELL. NO! What the fuck was this asswipe thinking? Doesn't he know who he is dealing with?

Since you don't want to risk getting kicked out of class (and I don't blame you) I would submit a written complaint to the school about him, and let them know that he is hindering learning.

Additionally, in writing inform assfuck that he is conducting a form of harassment and that he is to cease. Let him know that legal action, or loss of his face, will happen if he doesn't shut the fuck up PRONTO. Trust me, I would LOVE the excuse to come out there and jack up his grill.

Red Panda said...

Um....can I offer to carry your boobs around for you? I'll walk behind you, cupping them. Just an offer.

Welcome To Mommyland said...

One word - KARMA

Amy J - Book Addict said...

You know I love you right? So why do you always pick on me in your posts? LMAO!!!
Want me to lure him to the gator pond with some Southern Comfort so they can have a meal of him?

The Queen said...

I will put it in the budget that you can have a body guard. We have allowed my left sock to be auctioned off, so I guess we can auction the right one off to furnish you with a body guard. Please Ask Auntie Dutchess to help you arrange this..

So deems the Queen!

ps.. you have to figure out who you want.. and make all the arrangements for their badge... I am overloaded this week..

Krebster said...

What an arse! I am a big girl and I know from experience, words can indeed hurt. They may not break bones but they bruise like a mother.

You'll have to keep us updated with how you take on his next attack... I'm so ready to hear about what's coming next for this guy.

Dutchess said...

The minute that fuckstick mooed, he would have found a size 6.5 stiletto in his ass clear up to his goddamn throat. I say we find you a security guard...pronto