I was summoned to the castle by first The Queen and then The Duchess to let me know we were going on a road trip.
I told them of course I couldn't go....Who would take care of the animals?
They said bring them along! Of course I laughed.... Until I realized they were all baked. So I have been Vet-ing on the road. At least the monkeys were happy.
The gators have their own bus though:
I was so pissed to see we were taking buses. SERIOUSLY!?! More buses...fan-freaking-tastic. But The Queen planned ahead for me:
NO PEEIN IN MY POOL/BUS!!!
I saw the Princess slappin bumper stickers on the buses and giggling like a drunk idiot so I decided to put up my own sticker! It's my cardinal rule for road trips:
I took a look at the map to see where we were headed, There was a huge red circle around this town:
Donda has been so out of it recently, we all hoped this trip would jolt her out of her funk. Apparently she got too funked last night however, because this is how we found her this morning:
Then, because Donda was out of commision, I had to help keep and eye on the Dutch... Who tried to run off 4 times to marry who she thought was Willie Nelson:
The hooker bit me!! Thankfully I was up on my rabies vaccine, but still...She got all foamy at the mouth and even growled a few times. I was scared!!! But "Willie" got away safe....This time.
When The Queen told The Green Eyed Bratt about the road trip she showed up in her SUV:
Oh right...She's Mexican. It took awhile to explain, and translate, that this was a ROYALS ONLY road trip. Until one of them offered to make us burritos...And sneak us into their country for the good weed....Then of course they all had to come along!!
Oh and just to clear up that nasty tabloid story that aired...
Oh and if you see one of these signs after we have left your town:
That would be the Dame...She has a sick sense of humor!