Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Reasons why you should not ride the bus.

My Bloy over at NOT WORTH MENTIONING  made me his Blog of the Day last week. In honor of that I am writing this post in a CopyBoy-esque fashion. It won't be exactly like his because, let's face it, I ramble. But I know he will appreciate the effort!

Recently I have found myself having to use public transportation. For someone who has had their license since she was 15 and is also a germ-a-phobe I have to admit that this experience has been EXTREMELY displeasure-able. Having read an article once on the joys of riding the bus I am completely let down.
So without further ado, Enjoy my reasons for not riding the bus!!

1.) Do not ride the bus if you need to be on time.
Inevitably one of your buses will be late. (One time mine was 22 minutes late!!) And it will make you miss the bus you needed that was on time. Making you more late!

2.) Do not ride the bus if you don't enjoy getting hit on by crazies.
I don't just mean male crazies either. And I don't just mean "Hey wanna go out?" A toothless woman asked me if I wanted to see her O face.

3.) Do not ride the bus if you don't have a rape fantasy.
Bus stops are scary. One of mine I actually have to go around behind it, walk down 3 flights of enclosed stairs, walk along the edge of the freeway, passed homeless people hangouts and then walk back up 3 flights of stairs.
I seriously go into Judo/Cat/Attack mode the whole walk, just waiting to be jumped!

4.) Don't ride the bus if you don't like the smell of urine.
My entire walk/bus stop is the homeless communities bathroom. It's impossible to sit down while waiting for my busses. Honestly I am waiting to actually see someone peeing.

5.) Do not ride the bus if you get Carsick.
Busses come to sudden stops, they swerve everywhere, and let's not forget there are no seatbelts in them!!

6.) Do not ride the bus if you don't like black people.
Ok I realize this sounds racist but I can say it, cause I'm half black. Promise.
Anywho... In Sac the majority of bus riders that I have seen are black people. And black people tend to be loud people. Which is not always pleasant in a confined space.

7.) Do not ride the bus if you are not interested in hearing a complete stranger's personal business.
Yesterday I had to listen to this conversation:
"Gurl you dun hurd bout Shontay right?-No LaQuanda's sista.- Na the short fat sista.- Oh Gurl hur baby daddy whoop them 3 boys o' hers, whoop they lil' asses gud. Then theys aldest one went ta school and told hims teacha. PoPo came and took his ass off to PRI-SIN and took theys kids away!- Oh I know gurl! Ida found that lil sheet and whooped his ass some mo! Gurl yoo know what I'm sayin!"
Ya.....Nuff said.

8.) Don't ride the bus if you don't like cigarettes. 
If you don't like smoke, or are trying to quit, Busses are torture. People smoke at every stop and smell like smoke while sitting next to you. They will ask to bum a smoke, or even a light, or if they can have just a drag when you light up! EW!

9.) Don't ride the bus if you don't like homeless people.
They are everywhere. Especially at bus stops. And they can take their carts full of garbage on the bus with them. Ya.

10.) Don't ride the bus if you don't like dealing with the general public.
That's all a bus is. An enclosed moving object that makes you associate with people you normally jump into your car as quickly as possible to avoid.


Well I can guarantee that CopyBoy would have done a much better job at entertaining you....So why are you still here? Go read him and enjoy the giggle from me! You won't regret it!

5 comments:

Donda said...

When I was in HS I was on the bus coming from softball and some old white dude starting hitting on me...that wasn't the bad part. The bad part was he was wearing a MJ jacket, zippers n all...1989. Buses are scary!

The Queen said...

I like black people who smell like urine and get car sick.. I can handle the bus..

Copyboy said...

I LOVE IT!!!!!! OH PLEASE!!! YOUR B-LIST PUT ME TO SHAME!!! And by B I mean bus. ;)

Big Fat Gini said...

I had to ride the bus in Dallas once. It was horrific. This pregnant woman started screaming at me because I accidentally bumped into her. And she continued to scream after I got off the bus. And for the next two blocks.

It was traumatizing.

Diva said...

Oh NO buses for me! They scare the heck out of me!