The Royal Vet.

It's been a few weeks since I have talked about my most important job as the royal vet!

Since I have been so preoccupied with my family I have just done the bare minimum in taking care of the Gator's. I thought the Queen was just being kind in not yelling at me for it.
But apparently she has been dealing with her own issues and didn't notice me slacking off.

Any who,
Gators can be like children, in that they pick up on the emotions going on around them.
If I had pulled my head out of my butt long enough to notice what dear Queenie was dealing with I would not have been so alarmed by the Gator community this week.

I got to work one day to find this sign:

Apparently this has something to do with the infamous Rhea who has been harassing the Queen.
Rhea I would take this as a personal threat  from the Gator's....They don't just look mean!

However with all of this "SHE IS SLEEPING WITH MY HUSBAND DRAMA" floating around the castle the Gator's had a break down of their own.

The Queen's Knight thought his mate was cheating on him, when their baby was born and the baby looked nothing like the Knight. We had to fly in an expert to explain to the Knight that it's the female who carries the leucistic gene....Making more white Knights!! I seriously thought we were gonna have to fly in Maury. Of course though...He still made us do a DNA test....Results pending.

We also had a Gator tormenting the local turtle population.

Have you ever tried to treat a turtle for PTSD?!?!

The worst WORST worst thing that could have happened did!
The Duchess was in Vegas and when she came back she fell into what she thought was her bathtub.....
Turned out to be one of the hot spring lagoons. 
She got plastered on wine and xanax, as per usual, but forgot to take the booze and pills with her when she left.
Gator's fave part of Sundays!!
So they decided to help themselves.
In their drunken stupor they convinced one of the younger gator's he was gay and that he needed to have cosmetic surgery to look attractive to other males.....

Ya.....I'm hoping not to be fired when the Queen sees this.

But for some good news...Beyonce was here this week doing a photo shoot!
(With CB gone we had to bring in some extra income!!
I'm always thinking ahead)

The Green Eyed Brat  Has been successful in protecting the Queen this week.
The Gator's have asked her to send a special message to Rhea for them:

Don't go pointing fingers at the Queen Rhea...Or you will lose more than a hand!

The Royal Bartender thought it would be funny to get me plowed on AMF's one night and then leave me in the bathroom once I had passed out...where she had installed this:

I really owe that hooker some pay back.

Donda has been missing in action recently.
She said she had a class reunion to attend to but then these photos started circling:


We will be dredging the moat this week.

That's all for this edition of updates from the Royal Vet!
Stay tuned.

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