So as you all know the Royal princess CB has run off. I have heard that she is in sex rehab. (Yes I read the trashy tabloids!!) I also heard she was over worked and is "resting". Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
I am gonna tell ya the truth! Cause you'll all find out anyways.
The hooker is CRAZY! We don't call her CRAZY BRUNETTE for nothin! She decided to join the circus as a juggling palm reader. No lie. They came through here last week. CB went all nuts for a stunt driver named Kyle. Now the Duchess was already sinking into the bath tub thanks to the AARP trying to recruit her a few years too early. The Queen was hollerin all kinds of crazy that CB was starting a high class gentleman's club and was gonna try to steal clients.
Go to the circus...see the drunkard in heels juggling 15 flaming knives at once while cussing like a sailor and trying to keep her clothes on? That's CB.
I did order that spoiled princess the stupid flamingo that she begged Queeny and I for. I was stressing out all week about the poor thing getting here and no CB to welcome it. But in the end I didn't have to worry much.
They sent me the wrong Flamingo.
Ya apparently the news that the princess had flown the coop got out as quickly as usual and we had people lined up around the moat to take her place. This one decided to come in by crate. What she didn't know was that the Queen wasn't lookin to replace CB. So she sent the "Flamingo" out to work the corner!
Some of the other idiots thought they would get in with the Queen, if they were as loved by the gators as CB was.
Ya....I can't show the pics of what happened after this pic was taken.
And I wish I could erase the memories from my brain!
Thankfully that got everyone's attention and they decided it was better to leave ASAP!
The press has been all over the Queen that we should have signs up warning people about the gators to prevent "feedings".
The Royal and Gator point of view is that it's a huge castle, with a moat...If you can't figure out not to get to close then you deserve to be fed to the gators. However to appease the press the Queen did finally put up a sign:
I think that makes a pretty good point.
The alligator's were fed nicely this week though. There was an incident with a shoe salesman who didn't get the queen's affinity for alligators and expected her to love these:
She was not pleased! As I am sure you can imagine! And neither were the gators!!
It's been a crazy week at the royal castle!
Stay tuned for more adventures of the Royal Vet!