Me? A hypochondriac? Well.....

I can't stop crying. For the fourth day in a row. And it doesn't help that Seth left this morning for work and won't be home until Tomorrow. It also doesn't help that I have been getting about 3 cysts a day for the last week, that I have an excrutiating UTI that won't go away, and that I have been getting large, painful knots in my legs everytime I have to walk my two miles to go pick up Caden from school.
Since Seth is gone that means that I get to wake up early tomorrow to walk Caden to school. Then walk home. Then walk to pick him up!!!
I was supposed to have a project...FINALLY PAINTING THE LIVING ROOM!!!

But Seth got the wrong color paint.
The green in the blanket is the color I wanted.
That neon crap on the walls is what he got.
So now I have a neon splotch on my wall to look at.
And I think I have ovarian cancer.

Ok so you all know that this is PCOS Awareness month as well as Ovarian Cancer awareness month.
I have PCOS and I was told last year that the Cancer Cells are forming.
Well...The last 3 months my body has been weirder than usual.
You've heard me talk about my ulcers. The pain from them gets so bad that I have passed out from it before. Once when I was home alone with Caden.
I have also had a lot of Tummy swelling and bloating. I thought it was the PCOS or maybe too much dairy. But this has been more than normal.
I noticed too that I have to pee more. A LOT MORE!
Before my shower. When I get out of the shower. After I brush my teeth. When I get into bed. Right when I start to fall asleep....And that's just a half hour period!
I thought it was cause I was just drinking more water and my body would get used to it. But it hasn't.
Sometimes my tummy gets tender and hurts to touch.
When I gave up coffee I knew that would make it harder for things to make it's way out...if you know what I mean....(Sorry I don't discuss bathroom issues.) Anywho...We'll just say that things stay put more often then ever before.
I have noticed I rarely eat. I thought it was cause I was eating granola for breakfast, or because I was snacking on saltines more. But it's getting to the point where I pretty much only eat at dinner, and then I think I'm starving but I get full after a few bites.
I have been fast walking/jogging two miles a day or more since Caden started school,
almost a month ago.
But I haven't lost a pound.
In fact, my tummy seems like it's getting bigger. And I have gained weight!
Even though I am eating healthy and working out every day!
Another weird thing is that the last 2 months I have been DEAD TIRED.
I have fallen asleep walking home with Caden.
I come home, I lay down for a few hours. Sleep all night.
Still fall asleep the next day while doing something.

Every single one of those is a sign of Ovarian Cancer.
 I just happened accross it yesterday while doing some research for PCOS Awareness month.
Now I admit...I am bad about self diagnosing, and I am a bit of a hypochondriac.
But I started working in Hospitals when I was 15. I have an Uncle who is a surgeon and an Aunt who is a Nurse. Medicine runs in my family, and I have never self diagnosed wrong.

So I am freaking the hell out!!!
I don't want to hear anyone tell me to calm down, that I shouldn't freak out until I see the doctor, or any other sort of crap ya'll are thinkin of saying right now!
I am 25. I have a horrible disease. And I am already guaranteed having OC in my life. My Mother has had it. I have an aunt who has had it. And 2 Grandmothers.
So I am freaking out!
I can't stop crying.
And no one is hear.
Just me and Caden.
And I am really freaking the hell out!

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