Me? A hypochondriac? Well.....
I can't stop crying. For the fourth day in a row. And it doesn't help that Seth left this morning for work and won't be home until Tomorrow. It also doesn't help that I have been getting about 3 cysts a day for the last week, that I have an excrutiating UTI that won't go away, and that I have been getting large, painful knots in my legs everytime I have to walk my two miles to go pick up Caden from school.
Since Seth is gone that means that I get to wake up early tomorrow to walk Caden to school. Then walk home. Then walk to pick him up!!!
I was supposed to have a project...FINALLY PAINTING THE LIVING ROOM!!!
But Seth got the wrong color paint.
The green in the blanket is the color I wanted.
That neon crap on the walls is what he got.
So now I have a neon splotch on my wall to look at.
And I think I have ovarian cancer.
I AM JUST A WRECK!!!!
Ok so you all know that this is PCOS Awareness month as well as Ovarian Cancer awareness month.
I have PCOS and I was told last year that the Cancer Cells are forming.
Well...The last 3 months my body has been weirder than usual.
You've heard me talk about my ulcers. The pain from them gets so bad that I have passed out from it before. Once when I was home alone with Caden.
I have also had a lot of Tummy swelling and bloating. I thought it was the PCOS or maybe too much dairy. But this has been more than normal.
I noticed too that I have to pee more. A LOT MORE!
Before my shower. When I get out of the shower. After I brush my teeth. When I get into bed. Right when I start to fall asleep....And that's just a half hour period!
I thought it was cause I was just drinking more water and my body would get used to it. But it hasn't.
Sometimes my tummy gets tender and hurts to touch.
When I gave up coffee I knew that would make it harder for things to make it's way out...if you know what I mean....(Sorry I don't discuss bathroom issues.) Anywho...We'll just say that things stay put more often then ever before.
I have noticed I rarely eat. I thought it was cause I was eating granola for breakfast, or because I was snacking on saltines more. But it's getting to the point where I pretty much only eat at dinner, and then I think I'm starving but I get full after a few bites.
I have been fast walking/jogging two miles a day or more since Caden started school,
almost a month ago.
But I haven't lost a pound.
In fact, my tummy seems like it's getting bigger. And I have gained weight!
Even though I am eating healthy and working out every day!
Another weird thing is that the last 2 months I have been DEAD TIRED.
Another weird thing is that the last 2 months I have been DEAD TIRED.
I have fallen asleep walking home with Caden.
WALKING!!
I come home, I lay down for a few hours. Sleep all night.
Still fall asleep the next day while doing something.
Every single one of those is a sign of Ovarian Cancer.
I HAVE EVERY DAM SYMPTOM OF OVARIAN CANCER!!!
I just happened accross it yesterday while doing some research for PCOS Awareness month.
Now I admit...I am bad about self diagnosing, and I am a bit of a hypochondriac.
But I started working in Hospitals when I was 15. I have an Uncle who is a surgeon and an Aunt who is a Nurse. Medicine runs in my family, and I have never self diagnosed wrong.
So I am freaking the hell out!!!
I don't want to hear anyone tell me to calm down, that I shouldn't freak out until I see the doctor, or any other sort of crap ya'll are thinkin of saying right now!
I am 25. I have a horrible disease. And I am already guaranteed having OC in my life. My Mother has had it. I have an aunt who has had it. And 2 Grandmothers.
So I am freaking out!
I can't stop crying.
And no one is hear.
Just me and Caden.
And I am really freaking the hell out!
12 comments:
Calm down and try to think about what else it could be. Maybe you also need your Thyroid checked out. Maybe you also have IBS. I know that I have some of the same symptoms you have and I always think the worst too. I have a few uterine cysts that cause the same problems. Keep us updated and try to stay calm for your child! You don't want him to pick up on the stress! (HUGS)
Miss...did you ever think you have fibroids? Fibrous non-cancerous tumors in your uterus? Not trying to freak you out but sometimes they can cause a lot of pain and discomfort. I wouldn't stress too much about cancer - but an easy way to put your mind at ease is to go get some blood work done. I'm here for you hun. I understand the PCOS - I have it too. I'm sorry you have to go through all of this alone.
I always try to think that this will pass. And it usually does. It's ok to have a down time. Just hang in there.
@ Amy
I had my thyroid checked last year and they said it was fine. That if it did go out of wack it was cause of the PCOS since it's all hormones being wrong. Trust me I am doing everything to stay calm and not lose it till the munchkin goes to bed. Thanks for taking the time to pep me up! Means a lot to me!
@ Veronica
They check for fibroids every time I have an ultra sound and haven't found anything. Plus I get a pap every 6 months. And they always say it's just the Ovaries. My UTI is getting so bad and my doc can't fit me in so i'll probly go to the ER tomorrow and they always do blood work.
I'm sorry you have PCOS too. I hate that anyone else has to have this horrible disease! Is there anything you do or take that makes it easier?
Thanks for the comment love!
@ Christy,
Thanks Girl! I more just needed to blog all of this out. It helps me more to not hold it all in!
I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad. I don't really know what I could say that would make you feel better because cancer is a really scary thing but I really hope that things turn out alright.
Be calm..you're like me...always thinking the worst. You should go see your doc and he/she can put your mind at ease..and perhaps do something to help the pain! Smooches!
I know exactly how you feel right now... I'm feeling it too. Most people dont' understand what we're going through. I've have all the same symptoms... doc said it could be a uterine fibroid or cancer. If mine is a fibroid them it's the size of a baseball or a melon.
I don't find out the results until the 27th and it too is driving me nuts.
Look up uterine fibroids... those are usually non cancerous tumors.
Please keep us posted on how everything goes... I will do the same.
Will say a prayer for you.
All the best,
Kim
Feel better!! I won't tell you to calm down because I would be freaking out too. That's just the way I am when it comes to anxiety, but I will keep you in my thoughts :)
I won't tell you to calm down, either, because when I'm freaking the fuck out and people tell me to calm down, it just pisses me off. BUT. I will tell you I'm saying a prayer for you and I hope that's NOT what's going on.
Virtual hugs across cyberspace.
guess what lady.. i awarded you!! come get it!!
Ok. You have me freaked out now. I had part of my cervix removed about 8 years ago and my tubes tied, because my doctor was a bitch and told me that she had to tie my tubes since they took part of my cervix. For the past 2 months, my fiance and I have thought a few times that I was pregnant. Tummy is hard and swollen, I cry all of the time, my face is broken out, I have gained weight, ect. But I have normal to heavy *Bitch Weeks* and the text I took last month came up negative.
Now I'm wondering if maybe I need to set up a Gyno appointment sooner then March when I have an appointment.
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