Post by Miss from cell
I don’t get people sometimes. Seth of course is who I am referring to, since he is the only one I know that I cant freakin understand ever!!! He whines that I'm standing firm on separate rooms and my own privacy, which means no coming in to pee when im in the tub, or to talk when I'm changing clothes. And yet he wont do a dam thing to change!! He stays up till 2 or 3 playing violent video games with god knows who from all over the world, then when he is tired the next day he wants me to feel bad for him. Oh hell no!!!
get your ass off the couch. Do the dishes like I begged you to do. Take out the trash like you promised. Read a book. Brush your dam teeth. Anything really would be an improvement at this point.
maybe that's why I feel so stagnant. If you care about yourself try to improve. How is that too hard to get? I'm constantly trying to better myself.....is this just a guy thing? Am I being too judgmental?
6 comments:
Part guy. Part, he needs to get off his ass. My husband plays way too many video games too (maybe they are online together). But I write too much.
Either way. If you're not happy, things need to change. Don't settle for less.
I have a similar problem with my own hubs. He suffers from chronic pain due to several health issues, but there are times I feel this is a crutch. He spends more time on the sofa watching tv than anything else. I am of the opinion that if you felt well enough to make this frickin mess, you should feel well enough to clean it up.
Privacy is important especially in certain situations. Separate rooms is a drastic measure that just may shake things up a bit. I wonder if you have considered all the implications of your move? Are you prepared for things to go in either direction?
You need to be prepared for whatever happens after you make this move. Look at every possible scenario and make sure you can really handle it.
Good luck!
Don't settle for less. That's my current motto Eva. It means much in my head at this moment. And I guess I really don't mind that he is playing with random people....lol I mean I talk to random people on here! It's just one thing to gripe about when I'm already pissed off. And I guess I feel like he talks more to strangers than me.
Inge...lol I know that my situation is greatly groaned about by many woman everywhere. And I am of the opinion that since I am home all day, usually, and he works the housework is mine. I just hate going to bed with a pristine house and waking up to a landfill.
We have been in separate rooms since October. If it was going to shake things up I would hope it would have happened already. AND last year we were separated for almost 4 months, and I had taken Caden and moved back home.
I try to think about every angle as much as possible! What are ALL of my reasons for wanting this, including staring at the not so friendly in my favor one, and the ever present Am I hurting Caden by doing this. If you have any that you feel are vital PLEASE share. I grew up in a divorce world. My mom is on her third husband. And that's really not the life I want for my son.
Thank you both very much for your advice and comments. They mean so much to me!!
My mom is on her third husband as well. I don't want that for myself, or my kids. What you're going through must resonate with so many, and who knows what the right thing to do is? None of us can know that but you in the end. I've done so much reading on marriage and divorce and avoiding divorce, because I'm a bit paranoid about it having been around it so much. But I think that the purpose of marriage isn't to make us happy, it is to make us grow up and learn and be happier in the end. Also, happiness comes and goes and what we want now probably isn't what we will want in five or ten years. Love and happiness--both fleeting, emotions that wax and wane yet we base life decisions on them. One thing I'm sure of--I"m so grateful that John doesn't play video games!
I have been thinking all day about what you said Kristina, I agree that marriage helps us learn. It's growing up in learning to accept others and being ok with compromising for the sake of someone else' happiness.
But I also think that a marriage should be a haven from the rest of the world.
And I don't want to look back on my life and realize that I was the only one working at something so important. I think it would rob me of my joy.
AND...I would never marry another person with a video game addiction! lol
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