Lonely
I got the most random phone call yesterday, and it really upset me.
She is a friend of mine who moved far away, and when she called she was extremely emotional and upset. She kept yelling at me that I needed to tell her about how I felt. Not about anything n particular...she said she needed to know how I felt about something anything. I was trying not to get pissed so I asked her to tell me what was going on.
She said she got a phone call from a mutual acquaintance whom I have not spoken to in a few years and neither had she. Apparently this person called and was upset because my friend had not told her she was moving. She said no one had known she had even left! And my friend said well Miss and Seth knew. And this other person got super mad and started yelling why would we know and she didn't? And my friend said "well because Miss is my best friend." And this other person said "No one can be Miss's friend. No one even knows her."
Which was the reason for my friend's call.
She says that she has been my friend for 7 years and she has no idea who I am. Now I thought that was very funny. I told her "You know I sing, I write, I read more than anyone. I love the rain. I'm bomb ass at doing shots. And I'm a natural blond." haha.
For some odd reason she wasn't amused. She started saying that she has no idea how I think or feel about anything. She said that I talk about what I did, or want and not how I feel.
So I told her the truth...I rarely tell anyone how I feel. First of all....Who asks how someone feels? And I am not the kind of person who just tells anyone how I feel.
Growing up at my house you kept your feelings to yourself. Other wise it was just someone else's ammo.
She says that she was talking with some of our other friends and that they all felt I was not that close to anyone.
Apparently I had someone who stuck up for me....sorta. He said that the only time he had ever seen me close to anyone was when I was talking/with someone I grew up with.
I have been thinking about that this whole day...and I guess it makes sense. Even some of the people that I grew up with didn't know how bad my family life was. But those who knew my family I think I feel more comfortable around. All of my friends here in Cali don't know ANY of my family. I'm completely alone. But when I talk to my old friends they know my siblings and they know the places I've been, to an extent.
I dunno...I have been out of sorts since her call.
I'm just really not sure what to think since it happened.
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