Monday, January 3, 2011

Masquerade


If I lost myself, would you go and find me?
You make me feel so stupid.
Laughing behind my back all day.
I've been a lot of lonely places,
but now I found myself on the outside of us, looking in.
I can't find the door.
And you don't seem to care.
I don't want to go back to those days.
If I forgot who I am, would you please remind me?
Give me a reason to not break down.
I reach for you,
and find your back to me.
Pretending to be asleep so we don't need to talk.
So you don't have to listen to me stutter over trying to find the words.
Needle and Thread.
Oh where is my needle and thread?
So that I can sew us back together again. 
I dig and try to find those parts of me you once liked.
I know they are here somewhere,
though neither one of us recognize them now.
Maybe if I can become what you want,
you can do the same for me.
Just maybe I could make you happy.
If I go and hurt myself would you know how to fix me?
I was so unique.
Now I feel skindeep.
I thought I could be stronger, longer.
But it's killing me.
And none of this makeup is hiding my face.
I want to be beautiful like I once was.
I want to hear you say it more than once.
Make you stand in awe.
I want to be worthy of your love.
But gravity shackles me in ways I can't explain.
I run in the same circles, hit the same wall, and fall in the same place.
I've tried to make you see,
that you're everything I need here on the ground.
But we keep this love superficial outside.
So many things I'd say if I was able.
But I just think it all instead.
I hate to break it to you babe,
But I'm drowning.
If I hold myself back, would you push me forward?

5 comments:

Marti said...

SO sad and so powerful. Hope it all works out.

Gucci Mama said...

Wow. So poignant and powerful. I identify with so much of what you wrote here so beautifully.

My heart to yours, baby.

Twisted Fate said...

wow, very real & raw...blinded by one's own truth.

p.s.
wanted to let you know I passed an award to you!

XxOo!

Brittney said...

wow hunny that was powerful i hope things get better for you

Donna Nicole said...

I love this!