The Royal Vet.

As many of you know I am getting ready to start college to become a Vet Tech.
The great thing is that I have my first job!!!
The Queen because I kissed ass and threw myself at her feet begging. in her infinite wisdom has Royally decreed that I am THE Royal Vet.  She even made me a badge to get past the guards.


Now, I don't have the time to write my own version of the Peon Diary's like Donda.

Peon Diaries

I mean there is a whole team of BodyGuards and only ONE Vet! I am kept busy!
Plus I did sign a non disclosure agreement. But to try to help gain the royals some good publicity the queen is allowing me to share certain pictures and tidbits of information.
So I will try to update you as often as I can!
One thing I can tell you is that these Gators do have some manners. I went out to feed them one day and was pleasantly surprised to find out that they dress for dinner! (For their regulalry scheduled meals, if someone "Falls" into the moat then of course it's "Come as you are"!) These alligators have to be fairly smart. They need to know the difference between eating an enemy that "falls" in compared to a Royal who drunkenly stumbles in to try and Play with the gators. 
Le Sigh.


A few of the Alligators can mumble somewhat intelligible words.


And one Alligator is the Queen's personal pet!
She's nicknamed him 
"My White Knight"
It's good to have a man around the house!!


I'm on the alligator crap list already because I had to get them caught up on their vaccinations.
But with everything that um...falls..into their moat they need to be protected!
So they have me digging through their poo.
One Gator scared me half to death cause his was glittery!
Apparently he ate some mouthy Pimp that tried to bitch slap the Queen.
And then the Pimp mysteriously lost his way and ended up fallin in the moat!
Now that's Karma.
So far I have a collection of hooker shoes, bling, and gin bottles from Gator scat.
Glad I am here to keep their intestines going strong!!

I am happy to report that the Gator's are all fat and happy!.
More to come later!


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20 comments:

Donda said...

Too funny...but are you really going to wear those shitty shoes???

Copyboy said...

I have seen Gators close up and I can tell you that most of the time they go for a more casual look. BTW...congrats on V-tech school. That's awesome!!!!

Crazy Brunette said...

Damnit I want my own croc...

No. I want a flamingo, YES. A pretty pink flamingo.

Can you handle a flamingo if I promise to cut you in on some of the good shit the Dame steals from the Queen when she passed out????

But you cant let the crocs eat her!!

Donda said...

Don't do it! She doesn't really want a flamingo...it just reminds her of that time in Miami with that lounge lizard. She will lose interest after the novelty wears off ....just like the lounge lizard. Now I have to screen her calls.

MissCrystal said...

Donda you know those shoes are goin up on Ebay!!!

CB you can have a flamingo. But unless you get a land grant from the Queen for it's own little habitat I can't promise it full protection! The Gators will probly leave it alone for the most part but You know how cranky those gators get when they swallow a stiletto!

Donda there is a dam Lounge Lizard runnin around here too? CRAP! Now I have to find it and inoculate it too!

Just Jen said...

Congrats, Vet!! What is your drink of choice? For when you are not working, of course!

MissCrystal said...

I love Lemon Drops! Heavy on the white rum!
But none of that fake lemon juice crap. I would appreciate REAL lemons!


"I like the bartender
(Ooh, if you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Ooh, uh huh, okay)"

Just Jen said...

You should know that there isn't anything fake around here, except for boobs! Do you really think I would EVER use fake lemon? *GASP*

MissCrystal said...

I have had it happen to me way too many times before!
Besides...the xanax gets low who knows what the queen will cut back on!!!! Real lemons maybe the first things to go!

Just Jen said...

I have a hidden supply of Xanax in the bar in case that happens. What I do is when I'm cleaning up, I find all of the ones they drop and put them in a bottle in case of an emergancy!

MissCrystal said...

LMAO That's what I do with the ones I find around the moat! I didn't think we wanted passive aggressive gators.

Just Jen said...

HAHAHA!! Those Royals drop their Xanax every where!!

Just so you know, the Capcha on this comment is "Alochol"!!

MissCrystal said...

WOW! So fitting!

Cluttered Brain said...

Wow! what awesome pics of gators..
I'd be totally crapping myself if I had to take care of a gator as a vet tech...

I like your blog.

MissCrystal said...

Thanks doll!
I just take one of Jen's Lemon drops and I'm ready to take on the Queens Knight!!

Donda said...

I am baffled by the amount of pills the Royals drop because, I shit you not, I saw the Dutchess stop, drop and roll to avoid a furry beast and the hooker didn't lose a drop of booze from her glass in the process.

Dazee Dreamer said...

I'm loving the queens white knight.

m. said...

this is so exciting!

The Queen said...

I will give the land grant for the flamingo.. I will also agree to put it in the budget for feed and care of ONE flamingo.. any more than that and it comes out of her cut.

So declares the Queen.

K said...

New follower. Looking forward to hearing more from you!
~K
kscouplacoppers.blogspot.com