Saturday, October 9, 2010

Is there disability for a blogger who can't blog due to injury...?


Maybe I should insure my fingers.... Like famous people do. Like Troy and his hair. That way when I get an injury I can collect and get a pedicure.
Like tonight.....
So I was cleaning the kitchen and really gettin in to it! I had taken the top off the stove so that I could clean the inside with comet. And I had just finished scrubbing 3 out of 4 trays when all of a sudden my finger gets stuck in the metal lip and just shreds it.
Blood everywhere.
Crap.
So I yell at Seth to bring my paper towels stat!!!
I just know I am losing the tip of my finger.
I run it under the faucet and I can feel the water go through my finger and I instantly feel deformed!!!
I have great hands...maiming one is not good.
So I re-wrap it with paper towels and run into the bathroom for the first aid kit.
Of course I remembered to yell at Seth first to finish washing the trays.
Every time I take the paper towel off it bleeds profusely. Great.
So I re-wrap it with fresh paper towel and try to decide what to do.
I need a shower so I really don't want to bandage it when it'll only get wet.
I decided to take a shower with it swabbed in paper towels and bandage it after.
Easy right?
So I yell at Seth what I'm gonna do, and hop in the shower.
At first it wasn't too hard. But by the time I got to conditioning my hair my left arm was starting to hurt from doing all the work. Now the bad thing about showering only one handed is you have no way to gage how much conditioner I was using. All I could do was open my brand new bottle, line it up over the top of my head, and squeeze till it felt right. Ya...Way too much!!!
So as I am swirling it into my hair I am already formulating excuses in my head to tell Seth next week when I need more conditioner. Cause I will need one.
Now those of you who know me know that I hate body hair. So I shave. Everything. Every shower.
So guess what I did? Oh yes....I also shaved! It might sound crazy to you to shave when I had JUST been sliced up doing my second favorite activity, cleaning, but I am that reckless. What can I say.
I shaved without incident...or accident I should say, and then tried to get the conditioner out of my hair.
WHICH TOOK FOR FREAKIN EVER!!!
Finally I think I am done so I go to shut off the shower.
No comes trouble. Our shower has a hot knob and a cold knob. You have to turn both at the same time or be really fast at turning one. I was not fast enough. An icy cold blast was not cool.
Once that was done I had Seth come in to bandage me  up. Mostly for sympathy.
Sympathy that I did not get.
I totally planned on giving myself an at home pedicure tonight and use my new toe nail polish but I can't since I am now injured!
I tried to convince Seth that I need to go out and get a pedicure tomorrow but he feels that if I can shower myself I can do my own pedicure too.
I'm currently working on refuting that theory.

Did I mention it was my middle finger that I injured?

My favorite movie....And the man gets his pinky finger cut off


Photobucket

8 comments:

Donda said...

HA! Funny it's your middle finger. You are truly having a shit day. YOu should just call it a night and try again tomorrow :)

JenH said...

Awww! Sorry about your finger! Tell Seth i'm paying for the Pedi's and we need to go asap! How about Monday? We will come over and i will bring dinner and the boys can drop us off at the salon while they go to the store and get our regular brownie mix and booze. K? Love you!

Amy J - Book Addict said...

LMAO! Okay first off, I am laughing at the photo, not the injury! Tell him since he won't let you go get a pedi, he can give you one! Tell him he will get a little sumpin for his sympathy about your accident!

Also, my stove is looking pretty bad, can you use your good hand and come clean mine??!! LOL

Crazy Brunette said...

Only fucking you bitch!!!!

aims said...

LMAO!! you showered AND shaved so you could get your finger bandaged!! you crack me up!!! and it's yer wavin finger!! awesome!!

Guilty of Gossip said...

haha!! that pic of troy is hilarious! Sorry about your finger girl! get that shit healed up soon!

LB @ brokenwoodenspoon said...

Hey you are suppose to wave with all five fingers!

Anonymous said...

Il semble que vous soyez un expert dans ce domaine, vos remarques sont tres interessantes, merci.

- Daniel