Insomniatic Ramblings

It's 1:20 am and I am WIDE awake. YAY! Third night in a row. Hopefully tonight I'll fall asleep before 5 am. Since I have so much going on in my head tonight I guess I'll just blah blah blah it here.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: You are confused because the Bible describes God as an omnipotent and benevolent deity.
Lieutenant Chatrand: Exactly.
Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Omnipotent-benevolent simply means that God is all-powerful and well-meaning.
Lieutenant Chatrand: I understand the concept. It’s just… there seems to be a contradiction.
Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Yes. The contradiction is pain. Man’s starvation, war, sickness…
Lieutenant Chatrand: Exactly! Terrible things happen in this world. Human tragedy seems like proof that God could not possibly be both all-powerful and well-meaning. If He loves us and has the power to change our situation, He would prevent our pain, wouldn’t he?
Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Would He?
Lieutenant Chatrand: Well… if God Loves us, and He can protect us, He would have to. It seems He is either omnipotent and uncaring, or benevolent and powerless to help.
Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Do you have children?
Lieutenant Chatrand: No, signore.
Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Imagine you had an eight-year-old son… would you love him?
Lieutenant Chatrand: Of course.
Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Would you let him skateboard?
Lieutenant Chatrand: Yeah, I guess. Sure I’d let him skateboard, but I’d tell him to be careful.
Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: So as this child’s father, you would give him some basic, good advice and then let him go off and make his own mistakes?
Lieutenant Chatrand: I wouldn’t run behind him and mollycoddle him if that’s what you mean.
Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: But what if he fell and skinned his knee?
Lieutenant Chatrand: He would learn to be more careful.
Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: So although you have the power to interfere and prevent your child’s pain, you would choose to show you love by letting him learn his own lessons?
Lieutenant Chatrand: Of course. Pain is part of growing up. It’s how we learn.
Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Exactly.
Reading this gives me all sorts of thoughts on the subject. Yes I was hurt. But I have also been given the tools to deal with it. It's made me a much more competent person. Pain is part of growing up....It's how I use what I went through.
I know that God doesn't cause the pain, so it's not right to blame him. I can only believe that someday, the lessons I have learned will help me in my life, or help me to help someone else. And make the pain worth it.

I have been thinking of going back to school. It was a huge deal to Seth that I stayed home with Caden until he started school. Now my time is my own! I have done a lot of thinking about what I could do. I have a lot of medical experience, so the thought of becoming a nurse or working as medical personnel seems logical. But honestly the pay for medical sucks here in California.
I thought, too, about going to school for Web Design. It's something that fascinates me and I tend to pick it up really well. But I don't know if it's what I want to do for work.
It's been a long time dream of mine to work for the SPCA as a rescue officer. I have grown up with animals my whole life and feel comfortable with anything from Snakes to Horses. So on Thursday I am going to a local College to talk to them about their Veterinary Technician program!

Last night my left foot was really hurting and slightly swollen. Today I can barely walk on it. I can't get in to see my doc for two weeks so I might have Seth take me to the ER tomorrow. It really worries me. I broke the bottom of it when I was 17 and never went to the doctor for it. I really hope I am not going to be paying for a stupid mistake!
Lastly...The Royal Princess CB is picking out her new royal title! Go and vote!!!  Please vote for
PRINCESS CLASSY ASS. I came up with it!