Thursday, July 8, 2010

Can centipedes fly?

So last night I was getting into bed. We had just finished watching Last Comic Standing, so all the commentary running through my head was to the tune of stand up comedy. Now the bed divides our room down the middle. Seth has the first half of the room by the door and I have the second half. So as I was walking to my side to crawl into bed, I saw a book lying on the floor. One single solitary book. Completely out of place. That's when the memory came back to me of how that book got there and why it stayed there all day. I quickly jumped into bed and under the covers, "SETH!!!" I called. He was brushing his teeth, but came in anyways. "Hey I need you to pick up that book please." I get quizzical eyes. "Why?" He asks. "Ummm...Cause I'm asking you nicely." More quizical eyes. "What's under the book?" Dammit he's caught me. "Maybe nothing." I said back. Now he knows. I can tell by the squinting in his eyes. But he was gonna make me say it first. "What is under the book Miss?" "I threw it on top of a centipede. A big one. This morning." "Oh then clean it up." WHAT!?! NO!! "Seth that's your job." "I don't want to." "But it's your job!!" "Well it'll be there in the morning." No no no no no no  no no no. Now I start to panic. Yes I know that book had been sitting there for over 10 hours and the bug was either dead or had crawled away. But I just knew that the second the light went out that bug was gonna be seaking it's revenge on me. Unless Seth got it and flushed it down the potty.
"Please Babe please get the bug!!!" I beg and he is looking ever so slightly irritated. "What do you expect me to do with it?" He asked. At this point I thought of a few sensitive places he could shove it....but I resisted the urge to say it out loud. Yes I know...I'm amazing! "Please Seth, it's either dead or gone. Please just pick it up!!" That's when his shoulders slightly slump and I knew I had him. He walked into the bathroom to get some TP. It's then that I remember the huge owie on his toe from last week, the filling that fell out of a molar 2 weeks ago and now the tooth is bothering him, and I'm thinking "Oh God please don't let the centipede bite him or I'll be kissing ass for days!!!" He comes back, TP in hand and slowly slides the book out of the way.
No bug.
Triple Dammit. Now I'm lookin at the walls. Cause those little boogers crawl up, right? And I just know... I will wake up with it's thousand legs molesting me in the middle of the night. The centipede, not Seth. He goes to turn the ceiling fan up higher and two tiny pieces of dust fly off instantly making me squirm and jump. Seth "OMG It's just dust. Calm down. Centipedes can't fly."
Quadruple dammit. When I finally slept, I dreamed about flying centipedes.


5 comments:

Christy said...

It's just waiting for you to relax. Then it will pounce.

-MissC* said...

lol Oh gee thanks so much Christy!

Joy said...

That made me laugh out loud at work, thanks for making me look crazy to my co-workers :) (but I think I already thought I was)

-MissC* said...

HaHaHa Joy! I love reading a blog post that can make you laugh out loud! Although I have to say it was funnier in my head last night when I was thinking everything in a Comdedic Format.

Nikki said...

HAHA you know I don't like bugs either, and I make Bo get them. I'll kill them and descard their horrible carcasses if he's not here but I hate doing it....I forget how you HATE them more than me.

You crack me up, flying centipedes indeed.