I don't know about the rest of you, but the phrase I hate hearing the most is "Hey I bought you something." Although recently I have come to the decision that it's not just my fault. (After all Seth brought me home something the other day that was not only 4 bucks but was made for a little girl's room. And he thought I should have praised him for his thoughtfulness and generosity.)
ANY WHO.... back to the topic.
Some things should not be bought as a gift. Especially if A) It's for a romantic Holiday. Such as an anniversary, or Vday. B) You have had sex less then 10 times. (Unless it's purely a booty call) or C) You just want to spice things up. (Unless you have talked about this beforehand.)
So let's start with number 1!
1) Anything Crotchless. (Let her buy them and surprise you with them. Admit it...You would like that better!!!)
2) Anything edible. (Seriously the stuff they sell in sex shops is not that tasty! You would be better off with some whipped cream and brownie batter...but it's messy. And she will not want to fall asleep sticky in dirty sheets!)
3) Panties smaller than what she wears. (Seriously... if you have not been shopping at Victoria Secret with her, for panties, and know her EXACT size...DO NOT BUY THEM! You may think you are being nice by trying to show you think she is smaller than she is...but our minds just go to how horrible we look in too small panties.)
4) Bra that is too big. (The same law applies as above. Buy it too big and we will think you are hinting something at us.)
5) Vibrating Nipple Clamps. (Seriously...this is not romantic. You might as well buy her a pussy pump. EW!)
6) A gift certificate for a wax or laser hair removal. (This is not a romantic gift. But it is a good gift for me!!! I hate having body hair. lol)
7) Some form of a sexy costume. (Unless she has explicitly asked for one, then ask for her size.)
8) PORN. (I shouldn't have to say anymore.)
9) Paddle/Riding crop. (Seriously, if she is into that she will have one of her own already.)
10) Lapdancing classes. (Again...allow her to surprise you with this one. MUCH BETTER!)
11) Massage oil that doubles as a personal lubricant. (That shit is sticky! UGH!)
12) Anal Beads. (Really... If you haven't talked about this or "done" it...do not surprise her with this!!)
13) Sex Favor Coupons. (These are a gag gift, or something fun for her to get you.)
14) Cheap itchy lingerie. (Even if it won't be on long...not a good idea!)
15) A sex swing/ stripper pole. (This should be a joint purchase. Otherwise it's intimidating.)
Alrighty well....This is my list and reasons. Anything you would like to add?