Been more introverted than extroverted...

Recently I have been in my own head more than what is good for me. I have written a few blogs in my head but when it came to posting them...I lost interest.
It's been drama filled.....some so bad that I don't want to write about it because I don't want to remember it.
The biggest puzzle right now....Seth's words last night.
He was irritated that I went out bowling instead of staying in. But he said I could go and I jumped at the chance to get out and work out some agression. But we talked when I got home.
He told me he had realized some things. That he realized that his addiction to pornography had made him view me wrong. And that he was sorry for not viewing me the way he should have.
I asked him exactly what he meant and he repeated himself.
Why do I feel like I am being fed a line? Oh yeah...cause I usually am.
Am I being too hard on him? Part of me is saying that I am....but I don't think so. My gut tells me I that I am not seeing the whole picture here.
This is what I have been waiting for him to say all these years. Waiting for him to realize it.
But the whole time he was talking all I could think of was "It's too late." And I told him that. I said that I was glad he realised that and also that I am sure it was a hard thing to realize but that it wasn't effecting me. That I think it's too late for apologies. He didn't say much more. I didn't want to make him feel like I was shutting him down but he was in the kind of mood that made me feel that I could be honest with him, as long as I was being nice of course.
He is getting depressed and I can see it, and so does he. But I feel like it's his to work out. He said something to me the other day that made me feel like his depressions are my fault...but I think he needs to learn to heal himself.
We had a friend come back into our lives. This friend is a sweetheart who has had rough times his whole life. And some that he brings on his own. He can be very manipulative when he wants to be. He has been staying on the couch the last few days and now of course Seth doesn't want him here. Seth sent me two hours one way in the middle of the night to go rescue him, and then whines at me that he is here. I feel like I have been given attitude all day from Seth about it!
And it's like he wants me to be the mean one and kick him out. That's not me!! And it's not my job! I don't want someone living on my couch either but I can't stand for someone to be homeless.
Ugh I dunno what to do!! I feel like everything I do isn't the right move to make.

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