I'm trying not to think of you.
(This isn't fair!)
I'm desperately holding myself back from starting a conversation with you.
(Please don't make me wait!)
I think of ways to nonchalantly message you
so that you can't help but picture me,
and maybe even miss me a little.
(I hope you think of me.)
But no. I won't bend first.
Not this time.
I want my absence to be a void in your life.
A hole so noticeable that you can't help
but jump into it and ache for me.
And then you can sit here and wonder.
Wonder what I'm doing.
Wonder if I'm thinking of you.
And wonder how to fix things.
I know what I want now.
"A love that I would fight for and give my life for."
I know what I expect now.
"A man who loves me enough that he won't make me fight for him."
I have no need to settle for less.