Thursday, December 17, 2009

Scars


"If every hole leaves a scar, and every scar marks it's place than I will never live freely without your trace."

This is better than crying, when I'm already worn out from tryin. Both of us doing our best to make the other feel unwelcome here.
I wake up and the lightbulb clicks. I wish there was more I could say, as another fairy tale fades to gray. I've lived on hope, faking my smiles, and all the while wishing my heart had wings.
This is me-ending the war, heading for the door-
The best you ever had.
We've been doing the war dance for so long now, treating love like a battlefield.
Who will blink? What do you think?
Love is a game until it's played. And if it's lost then what's there to save? Life can take a long time if you make the wrong choice. Now our hearts are locked inside iron boxes. Both of us too afraid to reveal our most tender parts, cause we have filled each other up with holes.
We were just children, following a feeling. Not knowing that love could just wither away. And looking back it passed us so softly. Becoming strangers so quickly. so tired of fighting and too tired to hang on anymore.
Please don't open your mouth, I can read all the signs. It's a whole life of "wish you coulds". But "just couldn'ts."
Even when I think of a wasted life spent loving you, it doesn't make me mad. 5 years of kisses packed up in your bag. This moment holds all the big things we had.
And I can't pinpoint when love left or what for. It always steps lightly when it slips out the door. Looking back from this side I can't help but wonder how I thought it was you who was always wrong.
But now I see that when love is a battlefield you trample the garden below you and it fades away.
"I'm sorry" will not mend a broken heart.

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