Been too long since I have been here.


~Blows Dust off Blog~
It feels like it has been a lifetime since I have written on here.
OK so the update on being on the Welbutrin... I am getting migraines that last all day. I swear I am taking excedrin migraine 4 or 5 times a day. I wake up with a migraine and I go to bed with one. Not even Vicodin kills this headache. And to top it off I get itchy rashes. (That's what the picture is of. The rash on my thigh. It's how it tends to look but usually a lot bigger and itch's bad!!) They will start on my foot, then move to my scalp, then my tummy...on and on. AND....as if that is not enough...I am NOT sleeping. I am taking two vicodin and sleeping pills now to try to sleep at night and I am lucky to sleep between 2 am and 7 am. (Which Jazz loves cause it means she has someone to stay up with her at night when she can't sleep and play cards with. LOL)
All of these things are side effects of the drug. I have an app next week with the DOC, hopefully he will be able to do something to help me.
Also....2 weeks ago I found out I have HPV. HPV is basically a prequal to Cervical Cancer. But my doctor is fairly certain that I have cervical cancer now. I have to wait till October before I can get a biopsy. Until then.....yeah I am really going to need the depression pills. haha. How apropos.
I can't stop crying. I cry at night. I cry during guardasil commercials. I cry when Seth leaves for work. Oh yeah....I am way more clingy to him. (Which he loves) All of a sudden I feel like when he is not here my whole world is spinning off it's axis. When he is home and all of a sudden I feel lost and out of control I just reach over and grab his hand and all of a sudden my world settles. It's nice but really weird for me too.
Honestly I really don't know what I'm doing right now. Each day is a haze. I'm constantly losing stuff, I will swear something happened and it never did. lol I have never been like this before and it is hard on me.


Oh yeah...I told my mom about the Cervical cancer thing...only cause I promised my Grandma I would keep my mom in the loop about stuff, even though she doesn't return the favor, and cause it's genetic and my little sister has never had a pap smear...And my mom said they main way you get it is due to your husband cheating on you. That it's from an STD. And my sister doesn't have to worry about it cause she is smart enough to still be a virgin at 22. Yeah....Seriously the only thing I can say about that is what an ignorant bitch. Either she really believes that BS or she is just a bitch who is purposely being evil. Now mind you she claims to have been given an STD by her second husband, and then 4 years later she had cervical cancer, So maybe in her case it is true. But I called her, while holding Seth's hand AND crying my eyes out, and that's what she says to me.
Ugh I'm too disgusted to write anymore about this now.

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