Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Coming apart.

Cliff-hanging time
Fingers and stone.
Holding and holding
hurts to the bone.
It comes on the dark
these ridiculous dreams
I'm coming apart
apart at the seams
I'm coming apart
I don't know what it means
I choke on my voice
it ain't the right words
It's always the sound
of something I heard
Don't know if it's hard
Don't know what redeems
I'm coming apart
There's too much to move
and nothing to save.
Oh, ain't it sweet
back in the grave?
It clutches my heart
This yearning and dreams,
I'm coming apart

Caden my Caden.

Caden is going to be 4 on Oct 17th. It's just a few weeks away. I remember when he was born and I was thinking that one day I would have to send him off to school, he would get married, and have children of his own. But then I told myself not to worry about those things, it's so far away! Now I am a year or so away from school time...and it doesn't seem so far away now. Is this how it will be with everything? Before I know it his life will fly past..? It makes me scared. Am I using my time with him to the fullest?
Well I already know the answer to that one...
I spent most of last week painting his room. He is so in love with it. Him and his stuffed bear Jeff.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I'm Alive!

I have not been on here in a long time. We have been having problems with our modem. I have spent all weekend painting. We painted the hall way the same tan as the kitchen/living room. And did the baseboards white to match. Then we did the bathroom Blue. I love it! It looks fresh and clean!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Current news: I am currently on 6 different medications. The welbutrin for my PTSD. Then one for the migraines it gives me. Another for the itchy rash it gives me. One for ulcers. One for the ovarian pain. And one to help me sleep. Each one of these saps my energy and makes me dizzy.